Dowry has been in our society for a long time and criticized accordingly but ground realities of it are frightening and alarming. Like other rudimentary social injustice practices, dowry have strong foothold in society. We have made laws against it but it is evident that whenever there is a clash between law and social practice , law stand on back-foot. But the bigger issue in case of dowry is its rapid expansion in societies and its recognition as social status .
I am from a small caste in western Rajasthan. Dowry as a social practice had been for long time. But in last 5-6 years it had experienced a monstrous growth. There had been some critical voices against it but society as a whole had never been critical of it in fact in stark contrast its advocating it. To understand the practice of dowry we have to have a deep look in social fabric and collective thought process of the society.
Dowry is not a word of shame in fact its something to boast and be proud of. And in most cases it works in both way, not even getting high dowry is a matter of social pride but even giving it too. There is a competition between people to accede from last highest dowry given or received in village or society. Every government job have its dowry index associated with it which have a wide range from 15 Lakhs to 1 crore, yes u read it right there had been no typing mistakes. Its not just the groom’s qualification which sets dowry bar but even their family’s wealth and reputation. The unacceptance of dowry is applaud by government with a certificate but in society its either ridiculed or become a matter of laugh in behind.
To get high dowry there had been some fraud cases too where the man’s fake qualification is
shown and also to the extent of fake advertisement of achievement in newspaper. However there is a strange positive side effect of it too, the greed of getting a higher dowry often delay the marriage age of man until he gets some respected job, this may not sound much of positivity but its a huge step in Rajasthan which stands tall on child marriages.
Its not possible for a middle class person to withstand such high demands of dowry but why there have been never a collective opposition to it, it have a compelling explanation. Mostly in societies its most economically and socially power centrist people who become collective voice of that caste and they are in total support of this culture. Marriages are functions to express their wealth and worth for these peoples. Muzzled voices of opposition from lower class is either ignored or suppressed under hoax of social responsibility.
To tackle the dowry the law is not enough, we have to change social psyche. There should be awareness programme’s to make dowry a disrespectful and disgraceful word which shows nothing but greed. We have to understand that giving and receiving dowry is not two families fault its the collective thought process of society which is at fault and also take into account all perspectives, cause in one caste the dowry have taken a full round and nowadays its the girl’s father who takes dowry ranging up to 40 Lakhs. Without taking help from social voices of castes this dark age culture will never vanish from our lives.
